So in recent news, authors for the Zombie Anthology are coming in, I can’t believe that this project is finally off the ground. I am so nervous and excited, confident and slightly scared. This has been a week of such mixed emotions, in-between my other blog, reediting my novella since I said it was coming out at the end of October, and now that is two months away, and as if life wasn’t enough drama a week ago I found a lump under my arm.
This is something, which some people out there have advised me not to discuss, as if the mention of it suddenly becomes a hushed whisper and speculation of what it could be, because people naturally perceive the worst news imaginable. As if saying it out loud could affect my future. “Well hello everyone, my name is Jodie Portugal. I’m 5’6, I have a scar on my forehead that now one knows how I got, and at the age of 34 found a lump under my arm”. If knowing this about me, adjusts your perception of me, well then that is not my problem.
As soon as I found it, naturally I made an appointment and was seen straight away due to my family history, and if there was an understatement of the year…I think I’ve found it. Any fear I had was calmed, but I was fast-tracked to an appointment that happened on Wednesday. In the in-between, it was the Bank Holiday, and since I had the entire three days off. Boyfriend MT and I went to Brighton, which was fantastic. He treated me to Doctor Who: Deep Breath at the Cinema, which is brilliant as I’ve never seen Who on the big screen, and Peter Capaldi is already going to be a brilliant Doctor. I also openly maintain that children’s TV has been lacking somewhat since the sad end of The Sarah Jane Adventures (Elizabeth Sladen RIP) and a spin-off about The Paternoster Gang in which we watch the tales of a lizard woman from the dawn of time, her human wife, and Sontaran nurse set in Victorian times, would be fantastic. It would cause complaints because people can be so uptight. You can already imagine the cries of the “Children are being corrupted.” Whilst said children, and everyone else into decent TV just thinking “Marvellous.”
But back to lump news, now the procedures I’m going to discuss as for those out there who may need this in the future, since I’m going to be totally honest.
After waking up at an ungodly hour since I’m in the habit of waking up late when I’m not at work, I was accompanied to the hospital by my mum, for moral support and was seen pretty quickly. Having worked in hospitals for so many years, certain wards acquire an atmosphere. In The Royal Hampshire County Hospital, the ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy) room had sadness drenched on every surface, the Special Care Baby Unit, was full of hope. This felt cold, professional but also cold, as if every person there had the question hanging over their heads, and there were copious issues of Take a Break Magazine, affectionately known as the “We hate men, weekly.”
After my initial discussion, how long had it been there? (I have no idea). What’s my family history? (How much time do you have?) After the Doctor had felt said lump, I was given a gown that opened at the front (very attractive) and I was booked in for a mammogram.
Even after all those years of working in a hospital, this was an area I never ventured into so I had no idea what to expect, of course I could have just looked it up in advance, but for some reason I didn’t.
A mammogram is a low-level x-ray of the breast which is achieved by pressing what god, and genetics gave you between two plates of glass for their moment in the spotlight. Now anyone who’s seen pictures of me on this blog, can imagine this took a while. Standing there didn’t bother me, but the fact that I’m getting over a cold and was resisting the urge to sneeze was playing on my mind, but with the moment done it was done, and after joining mum in the waiting room less than 10 minutes later I was going for my ultrasound.
Now this is something I have had experience with, but not in this area and not like this and since the ward was warm, and the ultrasound gel isn’t, yeah you can imagine. As he glided the Linear array transducer (yes I looked it up) over the area, I saw what the sound waves were producing. I have no idea what I was looking at, obviously they did, but at the same time it was sort of fascinating to see all this. This didn’t take long, and once again was playing the waiting game in the waiting room with my mother. We had expected to be there for hours and instead this had taken less than two.
Going back into the Consultant, who was there with the breast nurse, I was informed that there were no traces of Cancer, the dreaded C-word, which was a relief but it was a benign tumour and due to the size of the damn thing they were going to take it out under a general anaesthetic. Which for once didn’t faze me one bit since this will now mean I’ve had three operations in one year. My surgery has been booked for a few weeks’ time and before that I’ve got a pre-op to get through next week, but I’m actually not that worried. It’s been less than a year since the accident, which entailed me to have to learn to walk on my right foot all over again, something that is still affecting me day by day, which hopefully will not last forever. I’m not exactly typing this thinking “Oh smite me, almighty smiter.” But on some level, bad things happen in threes, and I think I’m done. I also spent the rest of the day, taking my 9-year-old niece Summer to see How to Train Your Dragon 2, since it was Orange Wednesday and its still awesome the second time around.
Can I just stress that this doesn’t affect the Zombie Anthology in any way, everything is still on track, and this doesn’t change anything about the plan.
At the same time though I am starting to rethink my life and what could have caused this and I pulled this from http://www.webmd.boots.com/cancer/benign-tumours
Causes of benign tumours
What causes a benign tumour to form? Often the cause is unknown, but the growth of a benign tumour might be linked to:
Environmental toxins such as exposure to radiation
Local trauma or injury
Inflammation or infection
So with this in mind, from this moment I’m trying not to get too stressed, and to change my diet, from now on more berries in my diet, more green tea and ok I’m going to try to quit smoking. Not saying this is going to be successful, since I’ve tried and failed in the past. But I’m going to try.
Thanks for reading xxx