There I have said it, those terrible three words. Right now its scorching hot weather and I’ve just born witness to a summer storm as if Thor had realised Loki was more awesome than him and was throwing a major tantrum…or Nero had come back in time!
All my life I have hated Summer, and if anyone is wondering I do not have SAD, (Seasonal affective disorder). I just openly hate it, when I still at Primary school I was in a play about Persephone and her kidnapping by Hades, and because she ate 6 pomegranate seeds she had to spend 6 months of the year with the guy, which is why we have Autumn and Winter…is so wish the little Demi-God would have eaten the whole thing. I played Demeter by the way, I was 7…and I was awesome!
So let me explain why I truly hate Summer
Summer brings Bees and Wasps, and guess who allergic to both the little buggers? Oh yeah me, not enough to kill me, just enough to bring the pain if I get stung, and don’t get me started on the other insects.
I’m photosensitive and heat sensitive, yes my eyes are painful to the sun…it’s not uncommon for me to wear my sunglasses all day, until the Sun finally sets and all I want to do is find shade or leap into a tank of liquid nitrogen, because if I get too hot nothing will cool me down.
Because I inherited nada from my South American side, (apart from the hair) my pasty white Viking skin burns…easily. Thank god for factor 50.
Even though I have fantastic people in my life, they all seem to love the Sun bearing down on them as they suddenly think sitting in the garden is the best thing ever, whilst I react like a Vampire, and by that I mean an awesome Vampire, not that sparkly thing in Twilight.
I do not mind that my beloved London is surrounded by Tourists; I like Tourists since they want to come to our city and to love it, like we do. I just hate the Tube in Summer, full of sweltering heat, straight out of Dante’s Inferno. Also, I always seem to be stuck next to the smelly sod who had never heard of deodorant. Also anyone who wears Flip-flops on public transport, you’re idiots of course someone is going to step on your feet…because you’re wearing flip-flops!
The simple fact that everything you wear, sticks to you like glue, so at the end of the day you’re practically peeling off your clothes.
No matter how much water you drink, you eventually get to the point that jumping into the River Thames suddenly desirable because you are constantly dehydrated.
Let’s face it; Summer seems to bring out the idiots amongst the general population from the stupid fights in the street to the loud music, which you can’t get rid off, because if you close your window, you run the risk of dying in bed courtesy of heat stroke.
The simple fact that I cannot sleep because of the heat, no more words need to be said.
Men and the Barbeques, oh we all know this one don’t we, you go to a friend’s place and behind the barbeque there is a man, because a BBQ is a man’s job. A friend of mine who works in a four-star restaurant is regulated to the kitchen to make the salads whilst her husband burns the meat and act triumphant about it. We understand that you’re tapping into the evolutionary genes, back when we were hunting mammoths that he, who controlled the fire, controlled the world.
Heaven forbid a woman stepping picking up the tongs to turn the burgers. Hint: it’s not rocket science to cook meat, and witness the surprised looks that someone with XX chromosomes can step into the sacred cooking space and cook said meat. I’ve done it, and it’s made people nervous, because I’m not to be trusted invading the sphere of MAN. As memory serves, I can vote, own a business, have my own income, and do pretty much what I want, but the BBQ is the domain of the XY’s. Evolution is an amazing thing isn’t it?*
So this is why I hate Summer, anyone else out there who feels the same?
*PS, nothing against men in general, I think you’re all awesome x