New Beginnings and a Two Year Reflection

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” Allen Saunders.1957

So here we are, two years to the moment since the accident, incidentally a year since I had that lump of useless removed from my breast.

And that’s still causing me some pain too…yeah; really think I need to get that checked out since when I went a few months ago they told me it was “scar tissue”.

Great, more scar irritation, as if the foot wasn’t bad enough.

Looking over the last two years, I can see the cynicism that managed to creep in, especially since my foot is still causing me pain. Even though I’m pretty much desensitised to it, now since that won’t go away and I still have arthritis to look forward too (yea!).

It’s these moments where I think where my life should have been to what it is now. Two years ago, I was so close to Japan and was applying for the Jet Programme. I could almost taste the cherry blossoms in Ueno Park, when this happened and pretty much vetoed my chance of every getting it.

I’ve applied twice, the first time ok I can understand. But even though I speak basic Japanese, have a degree, am a published poet and writer (self), hold two TEFL qualifications…I’m still not good enough. And now they will never hire someone with metal in their foot, no matter how qualified I am!

By the way, it’s on my Geek List and this is the “dream” I’m referring too! I really should put it on the bottom category since I’ve more chance of meeting Michael Rooker (hint drop) than getting that dream to come true.

No wonder I decided to try to change my path, on my own terms, and to quote my mum “Their loss”, thanks mum!

So as you probably guess I’m feeling the anxiety since today, is two years since the accident and by a sheer coincidence this is also the day I enrol at University, although I did go down there already for the Fresher Fair, and the Post Graduate Networking Event, both very awesome, and not because I got lots of nice free stuff.

Kingston does have a good vibe about it, and I’m sure I’m going to enjoy my time there, even though I’m going to struggle to afford it, and have to deal with the stress this will bring.

But it’s a new beginning and that’s what I need, however I’m anxious, because when will I have the time to do this? Unlike the meme there is no one out there “To give me a hug, chocolate and a cheque for five millions pounds”, but if there is and you’re out there, I would be very grateful.

So from this moment, new beginnings and changes and a Masters to look forward too, even though I did learn two days ago that Kingston is in the top five Creative Writing Master Programs, in the entire country…and they let me in!

I know I earned my place, since they saw my work and must have thought I had potential, even though I am dying to ask them why they let me in. But right now I’m trying just telling myself, my own personal mantra.

“I learned to walk again, I can do anything”.

It’s working for me so far, so I’ll tell you how it goes later.

Xx

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