The Release Date of A Twisted Christmas Carol

So, today was Publication Day, and since this is me, it naturally entailed staying up all night, uploading it twice, and having to contact Amazon to delete one of them.

But this is it, my second finished book and just in time for Christmas.

Now it’s over, I feel a bit sad and I know I’m not the only person to feel like this. This one took two years, a hell of a lot of rewrites, and editing and proofreading. But from what I see, I finally have perfection…at least I hope so.

I know that adaptations of A Christmas Carol are nothing new, but what I’ve done is something I have never read or seen, and hope that people will like my original take on the story. Additionally I never realised the story was so short, as only twenty-six thousand words.

But what’s next, well now I can direct my focus on to my Master’s and see what happens next.


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The struggles of a Master’s Degree.

It’s been six weeks since I started Kingston University and this week is reading week so I finally have a chance to catch up on the reading, and the work, and the writing and to start thinking about my finished piece. You know I won’t be thinking about quitting smoking anytime soon, but for one reason the only thing I have on my mind is Virginia Woolf, and her essay A Room of One’s Own.

I pulled this from Wiki, which may explain what the hell I’m talking about

The title of the essay comes from Woolf’s conception that, “a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction”. Woolf notes that women have been kept from writing because of their relative poverty, and financial freedom will bring women the freedom to write; “In the first place, to have a room of her own… was out of the question, unless her parents were exceptionally rich or very noble”. The title also refers to any author’s need for poetic license and the personal liberty to create art.

Well, Virginia, I have a room of my own, the problem is I haven’t got the time to write. Then again as a feminist, what I understood about Virginia Woolf I recall from a lecture back in the day, about Mrs Dalloway. And how dear Virginia was too good for this sinful patricial earth, so walked into the River Ouse with stones in her pocket and passed on like a water spirit.

From what I got from my research, Virginia Woolf had all the above, alas never went to University but took up with the Bloomsbury Set. Took part in the Dreadnought Hoax, had daddy issues, breakdown after breakdown and I get that mental illness is a serious thing and I have every sympathy for her, but she had all of the above and crafted some great books.

However, it’s hard to really against a patriarchal system when it pays for what you want to do. Not what you have to do.

Yes, a feminist critical of Virginia Woolf, the same way I constantly am of middle-class writers.

You can tell by this since I’ve compared myself to Virginia Woolf, is that I am struggling.

Right now I’m a full-time student, a part-time worker currently doing four days a week, to afford said masters, and being stretched at best while currently telling myself that this will help me in the future…and god knows how!

If anyone out there ever feels trapped, this is what it feels like!

The worst thing is, is that I need support. I haven’t  written an essay in ten years, I haven’t really done anything academic and Kingston does ironically provide this type of support, but it’s on a day I don’t have lectures and a day when I’m at work.

This new reality is a lot different from living in Hall’s I tell you, and with regards to me it’s already having a knock-on effect because I am so tired all the time.

Already I’m behind in my writing, and having my work critiqued, which is as painful as it sounds, especially since I’m surrounded by many talented writers who can’t see how their talented, and each time I critique their work, I feel like taping a sign saying “It’s Perfect”.

I never realised how much easier it was in Winchester, since yes I was working forty hours a week, but since they were near to my home, and university, since I worked twenty-four hours over the weekend and the rest during the day so it was easier. Now I have to drag myself home as a shift worker at ten pm each night, and hit the books, whilst praying for a lottery win, or a mysterious benefactor who will take an interest in me.

It worked for Now You See Me, which was less that a mysterious benefactor and more of a…just watch, the film if you haven’t. No spoilers here

Ok, Great Expectations, Pip had a benefactor, and did good things with his life…as memory serves. That book really depressed the hell out of me.

Why do I feel like a mysterious Benefactor would screw me up emotionally, so perhaps just a lottery win instead would be nice?

So we got to Virginia Woolf and my struggles at university but to put a point to this post…is that my book will be out within a week. My stress levels have so increased again.

Be back soon

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Back to the Future, and a Geekling’s Journey

Now I wasn’t going to write this, I wasn’t going to jump on the bandwagon, in which the Internet is full of Geek Pride, and crowing about this day, a day that has taken so long to come round, and now it’s finally here…and now everything in Back to the Future, is now in the past.

Where the hell is my Hoverboard?

God, this film lied to me, I remember as a wee Geekling at the age of nine, seeing the second film and admittedly it confused the hell out of me, with the whole going back and forth between 1985, 2015, 1985-A and then back to 1955…from a different angle!

I also saw the first one when I was five, the year it came out (my parents were cool). The plot was too complicated for my brain, with incest overtones (they were brief, however) and a car I thought was made up until I was about ten. The DeLorean DMC-12 does seem a bit ahead of its time, and ever since that moment I’ve had a dream of going 88 miles in one through a lightning storm…just to see what happens?

I’m going to say here, I’d probably be killed by such an attempt! You have to also give this Trilogy some respect, since the DeLorean DMC-12, would have been a footnote in history. Instead, it’s something revered by the Geek Nation.

I’m also going to say it here, about 1985-A, (the alternative present)the reason Marty’s siblings were not seen, was that his sister, Linda, played by Wendie Jo Sperber, who passed away in 2005 from breast cancer, and couldn’t be in the film because she was pregnant. Hence the reason Dave wasn’t in the film, aside from a deleted scene. Just had to break in to say this, she was a very good actress and was gone too soon xx

However, what I learned about the “ripple effect”, or the codes and conventions of time travel films, I learned from these film, since Marty McFly’ does show some out of character moments, turning someone so adorkable, into to someone who hates being pissed off.

Alternative parenting from George McFly will do that to you, even though Marty really does grow a pair over the course of all three films, and matures. You have to love the Trilogy films just for the character development, of every single person.

Aside from Marty and Doc, who I’ll be geeking out in a few sentences, my favourite character is Lorraine, Marty’s mum, played by the fantastic Lea Thompson who we see in the future, and looks fine, then in the past as a happy teenager, before her 1985-A self, which just broke my heart several times over.

The simple fact that in 1955, George saved her from being raped by Biff, and in this alternative timeline she’s forced to marry him, shows how sick their marriage really is.

BTTF2 really is a red hot mess of a trilogy, but one that works so well, especially since everything happens, because of Marty. But none of the films are about him.

The first: Trying to correct his family, and making us fall in love with the adorkable, George, played by Crispin Glover…his reason for not being in the sequels are a bit dickish, though. He didn’t like the ending for the first film and wanted the same salary as Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd. Even though I do think suing them, was good for him. I had to acknowledge it here.

The Second: Marty realising how much he’s screwed up, (ripple effect) and loses his father, who he really identified with, and trying to restore everything to the way it was.

The Third: Wild West and Doc gets the girl and my favourite one of the two sequels. Doc meets his soul mate, the fantastic Clara Clayton.

Being only five, when the first film came out, I had no idea what was going on, but just because it has a sequel hook, didn’t mean I wanted a sequel.

I had never had to wait for a film and thought the first was perfect the way it was. I developed a bit of a crush on Michael J Fox, went on to be terrified by Christopher Lloyd in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”, and then I found out that there would be a sequel, and I guess I was indifferent.

But when I saw it, I was blown away.

What I’ve always liked about this unintentional Trilogy which never should have worked, is that not a single word is wasted, everything said and done has some consequence later on, from Biff watching A Fistful of Dollars in 1985-A from Marty using the same technique in 1885, which is also a call-back to how Doc survived being killed by the Libyans in 1985. It’s that perfect.

Another thing about BTTF, is that it’s not a big film, Marty goes through time but never leaves his home town of Hill Valley, but it feels bigger than what it is due to the consequences of the story, and that fantastic soundtrack by Alan Silvestri

What really makes these films work, is that you never question the relationship between Marty and Doc, even though Director Bob Gale did offer an explanation, which he was hired to do errands and found Doc has a great music collection because it works so well.

They’re both oddballs, who don’t fit in. naturally they would become friends, especially since in this timeline George McFly isn’t what you could call an attentive parent, and Marty needed a surrogate father.

Lloyd and Fox, work so well together that you just believe everything, over the course of three films both characters grow. Doc, who was a secret badass anyway, but goes on to face off against Mad Dog Tannen and Marty, takes responsibility for his actions, and every film is just perfect.

Well aside from the Hoverboard, 2015-10-21 got so much wrong. Thankfully we are not paying $50 for a bottle of Pepsi; there was no Jaws 19 “Shark still looks fake”, no flying cars, and no rehydrated pizza.

However, they did get google glasses, right and TV’s with video messaging and multiple channels. They also didn’t predict the Internet, but very few did. Aside from Jules Verne! They knew they were going to be off, so just decided to roll with it, and in effect inspired some of the technologies presented in this film. Sadly watching this at the age of nine, I was hoping technology would have advanced a little bit better.

Hoverboard anyone?

But apart from that, this is my favourite film Trilogy for a reason, and that; because of its sharp dialogue, fun lines, tight script and believable relationships between the characters. My only issue with BTTF 2 is that at the end of the film, it showed a trailer for the third one, that ruined the ending…but Doc still got the girl, so it’s all good.

Additionally, was I the only one who never noticed there were two Jennifer’s?

But to finish this, since I had to mark the occasion, everything in Back to the Future that is made possible is done through the actions of one woman. And that is the Clock Tower Lady, played by Elsa Raven, who was so incensed that Mayor Goldie Wilson (who was inspired by Marty to become Mayor, in the first place, and seems like a nice guy) who by giving the flyer to Marty, told him the time the lightning bolt would hit the Clock Tower, producing the 1.21 jigowatts, enabling Marty to go Back to the Future.

But to finish, I have to say one more time

Where is my Hoverboard?


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Cover Reveal and finding a professional editor…again

Ok, so if I wasn’t stressed enough, I have just started my Master’s Degree, which is going well….even though I’ve only had two lectures so far. Yeah, watch this space for that, because yes I know this is going to kill me already!

But in other news and the reason I started this blog in the first place, is that I have finished my second book, yeah me. I did it…ok, I didn’t do it myself, I had a basis to work on, but this is the cover.
Created by David Winterbourne and I think he did a fantastic job.


The second one was my editor, which after Google search led me to, and the talents of James Burford, who works under UKProofreaders on

For what it cost me, oh god he did a fantastic job for what I paid him. Yes, recommending him now since he is brilliant.

After I had sent him my book, and it was back in less than a week, and I was so embarrassed by the mistakes I had made, but he did a brilliant job and so professional since the website is bloody confusing! So after Alison, a friend of mine who is giving it the once over has finished, I’ll be ready to go.

My second book and one I’m very proud of shall be out in a few weeks, so watch this space.


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New Beginnings and a Two Year Reflection

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” Allen Saunders.1957

So here we are, two years to the moment since the accident, incidentally a year since I had that lump of useless removed from my breast.

And that’s still causing me some pain too…yeah; really think I need to get that checked out since when I went a few months ago they told me it was “scar tissue”.

Great, more scar irritation, as if the foot wasn’t bad enough.

Looking over the last two years, I can see the cynicism that managed to creep in, especially since my foot is still causing me pain. Even though I’m pretty much desensitised to it, now since that won’t go away and I still have arthritis to look forward too (yea!).

It’s these moments where I think where my life should have been to what it is now. Two years ago, I was so close to Japan and was applying for the Jet Programme. I could almost taste the cherry blossoms in Ueno Park, when this happened and pretty much vetoed my chance of every getting it.

I’ve applied twice, the first time ok I can understand. But even though I speak basic Japanese, have a degree, am a published poet and writer (self), hold two TEFL qualifications…I’m still not good enough. And now they will never hire someone with metal in their foot, no matter how qualified I am!

By the way, it’s on my Geek List and this is the “dream” I’m referring too! I really should put it on the bottom category since I’ve more chance of meeting Michael Rooker (hint drop) than getting that dream to come true.

No wonder I decided to try to change my path, on my own terms, and to quote my mum “Their loss”, thanks mum!

So as you probably guess I’m feeling the anxiety since today, is two years since the accident and by a sheer coincidence this is also the day I enrol at University, although I did go down there already for the Fresher Fair, and the Post Graduate Networking Event, both very awesome, and not because I got lots of nice free stuff.

Kingston does have a good vibe about it, and I’m sure I’m going to enjoy my time there, even though I’m going to struggle to afford it, and have to deal with the stress this will bring.

But it’s a new beginning and that’s what I need, however I’m anxious, because when will I have the time to do this? Unlike the meme there is no one out there “To give me a hug, chocolate and a cheque for five millions pounds”, but if there is and you’re out there, I would be very grateful.

So from this moment, new beginnings and changes and a Masters to look forward too, even though I did learn two days ago that Kingston is in the top five Creative Writing Master Programs, in the entire country…and they let me in!

I know I earned my place, since they saw my work and must have thought I had potential, even though I am dying to ask them why they let me in. But right now I’m trying just telling myself, my own personal mantra.

“I learned to walk again, I can do anything”.

It’s working for me so far, so I’ll tell you how it goes later.


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Loki is Peter Quill’s Father

Right, this is a cut and paste job of an earlier post where I lamented the simple fact that I will never meet Michael Rooker. And according to my Geeklist, will not be in the next Guardians film as an extra, preferably as a Ravager (pretty please!) which led to a feature length piece where I stated that I think Loki is Peter Quill’s long lost daddy.

And because I was sick to death of trying to find the original post, to explain my theory. So here it is, in all its majestic finery.

So Loki according to my headcanon is Peter Quill’s father, and I know that I could be wrong, even though when Director and all time genius James Gunn was doing a Q and A on Facebook, I asked him directly…and didn’t get an answer! Bring your own meaning to that!

But the way I see it, I have some solid evidence, to this idea…so let’s begin.

  1. Peter can survive in space longer than an average human should; indicating a connection to the Frost Giants…god knows how long Loki was falling through Space after all
  2. Peter can talk his way out of danger, a trait he shares with Loki. Both of them have the gift of the gab after all
  3. Peter is from an ancient race of people, who are a mystery…it’s clear that Asgard doesn’t really get involved with the rest of the Galaxy, hence the mystery. Also, the swirling pattern of Peter’s central nervous system does look like the soul forge in Thor: The Dark World
  4. After Peter touched the infinity stone and sees the image of his mother, the background looks like a rainbow with all the colours, giving a hint to the rainbow bridge of Asgard
  5. I was re-watching Thor and Loki could blend in easier than Thor ever could indicate that he’s been on Earth before. Thor pretty much acted like a plank and Loki well he’s Loki so everything he touches becomes awesome incarnate
  6. So Loki, because he was bored and wanted to explore travelled to Earth, met Meredith Quill, since I did notice upon re-watching Thor they all arrived on Earth in a glow of light. He convinced her that he was an Angel or something similar because he’s the trickster God for a reason. They made sweet sweet love which resulted in Peter Quill, but Loki knowing that Odin was looking for him had to leave with the promise he would be back later…which never happened.
  7. Loki using the Bifröst, and courtesy of this Heimdall also knows of Peter, learns that Meredith is dying so since at the time he thinks he’s a full Asgardian and is concerned that his son may be coming into his powers so decides to get his son off Earth.
  8. Loki since he needs time to get his son off, and aware that Odin hates hybrids as does much of Asgard he needs to do it quietly, since he knows that Odin will either be pissed beyond belief or accepting to Peter. Since he thinks (at the time at least), this will be his legitimate grandchild and heir to the throne, which brings the Ravagers into the story.
  9. Through a third party, Yondu is contacted and knows who the buyer is but decides that Loki is such a dick, just from his reputation that alone that Peter would be better off with him. The best thing is, is that Loki can’t do anything about it, because he’s realised he wants the throne too much, and that Odin would never accept Peter.
  10. So Peter is left to be raised by the Ravagers, and ignorant of his heritage, and eventually Loki, his father finds out he’s a Frost Giant, an Ancient being. Goes crazy and falls from the Rainbow Bridge to be captured by Thanos, where he is brainwashed to take on the Avengers and get his revenge.
  11. Ok, have to say here that Thanos really can’t keep his infinity stones since he lost one since it was in the Loki’s sceptre which is now embedded in Visions’ head and the rest to the Guardians and because Ronen has issues!

The biggest clue, however, is the final line of Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy. Here’s the exchange.

Kraglin: Yeah, Quill turned out okay. It’s probably good we didn’t deliver him to his dad like we was hired to do.

Yondu Udonta: Yeah, that guy was a jackass.

Right, now Jackass is a simple word meaning fool, but according to several sources, here’s a link to a great article, and the fact that this occurred to me when I was sorting my tarot deck.

Jackass – Fool – Trickster

Loki is the Trickster God in Norse Mythology…and this is my headcanon and I’m sticking to it. Well until I’m proved wrong in 2017!

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Working Class and doing a Masters Degree

Right, that is an attention grabbing headline isn’t it? Especially since if you Google the phrase “working class and university”, you are apparently told.

According to Peter Brant, we working classes don’t know how to eat properly and never attend galleries or museums, apparently because we’re too busy sitting under a canal bridge binge drinking a bottle of white lightening.

But let’s face it, being working class, we don’t expect to go to University, hell I never expected to do a degree in the first place, and I’m still the first person in my entire family to go to one.

In the middle classes, let’s take about them since I did link to that article, let me present you with the hypothetical Tamsin and Rupert. Who are raised in their suburban bourgeoisie neighbourhoods, with their indoor swimming pools, private lessons…and they expect to go to University since its part of their parent’s masterplan for them.

Go to University get a good mark and straight after you graduate, daddy has a friend in the city who works at Canary Wharf, where you can get work experience, and don’t worry about fees and loans, because we will pay for everything.

And on the opposite side of this spectrum, are the working classes or in some people’s eyes the peasants.

Imagine working your ass off to get into Uni. Yet constantly made to feel like you don’t fit in. Winchester really didn’t care about us fitting it, but perhaps things have changed. But imagine working every hour God sends you, since your student loan, which you will be paying off for the next three decades doesn’t go that far.

And just imagine the utter insensitivity of your peers, who have no idea how hard you have it and have no qualms doing sod all three years. Since you learn very early, that is not about the job that you can get, but the connections that you already have, in place…before you even step on the Campus.

Being working class, we have no connections, aside from what we can find, but at least we’re motivated, but I have no idea how it was for everyone else, but I was an outsider, and there was nothing I could do about it.

The worst moment that summed up people’s attitudes towards me was when I was in an English lecture, and one of the students mentioned the phrase “hoi polloi”, in a derogatory way. Since these two words were words I had never heard before so, I asked him to give an example. This was it

“It’s like the working classes, going to University to better themselves.”

(Hint: No it isn’t. I looked it up later.)

And here was my answer, “Oh, so you mean, people like me”,

I did appreciate the silence that fell the lecture as this stuck up asshole realised he had gone too far, as he mumbled an apology, coming to the realisation he was rubbing shoulders with the working classes. However, even though we were in the same sphere, well you can’t quit something you’ve never belonged too.

The reason University is never in the Masterplan of the working classes isn’t because our parents don’t care about our education. Far from it, as working class, you are only a few steps from the “Underclass”, which is a polite way of really saying it.

You know the type and the stereotype, foul mouth assholes who breed like rabbits, give their kids stupid names, have the British Taxpayer pay for their offspring while they never take responsibility for their lives.

But for the working classes, you are aware that it could be you very easily, and keeping a house, putting food on the table, working hard to provide for your family does take priority. However my parents were big on education, so I know how lucky I was in the great scheme of things, and I was prepared to work hard to get what I wanted.

But just because I got accepted into University does not mean I had an easy ride of it.

The moment I stepped in, I was an outsider, out of my element, out of my peer group and surrounded by people who just didn’t get understand.

Let’s face it, there is nothing like a housemate who dreams of being the next Tiesto, keeps you up all night, playing his decks…and burns your kitchen down

And a housemate who one day asks why you work forty hours a week and study, and you’re so tired the only response you have is “Because I want to buy luxuries like bread and milk”.

I spent four years in Winchester, and I never felt like I fitted in, I was too old to be a normal student but didn’t count as a mature one and I left University with dreams that never came to fruition, because I had to do the sensible thing and get a job to pay off my debts.

Welcome to my life ten years later.

You know, perhaps I’m hard on myself. One of the things my sister R, did when we were in Spain last month, was give me a list of my positives. And it wasn’t the cocktails talking; I just have a habit of being negative at times.

So with this in mind, and a desire to change my path, I applied for a Masters Degree …and I got accepted. Which I will go into more detail later, but not bad for a “hoi polloi.”


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